Stand united, PC gamers!
Are you a PC gamer? Well of course you are, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article.
But there are a bunch of other things only PC gamers would do or be familiar with – things that, to ordinary mortals, would seem like quantum physics, arcane magic, or a combination of both. Here, then, is a list of 10 Things Only PC Gamers Would Understand.
1. The Mark
The Mark (Image from PinoyTekkie and Tiltfeed)
It is known by many names.
The Mark of a True Gamer. The Gamer’s Mark. The Wrist Callus.
But whatever title you deem most fit to describe this phenomenon, one thing is for certain: it is the badge of honor bestowed upon us by the gods of PC gaming, the revered sign that separates the wheat from the chaff, the ruling elite from the common rabble…
… Okay, okay, admittedly we went a little overboard with that one. Still, you know someone’s a true PC gamer when you spot one of these on their right wrist.
2. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.
Similar to The Mark, many a true PC gamer has been afflicted with this mysterious ailment that men of science have dubbed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS). But we all know it comes from a more malevolent place.
This nasty little demon announces its presence in the form of a dull ache or sharp pain in your wrist – often as a result of several hours of nonstop mouse-clicking. We’re looking at you, Diablo III.
Levity aside, be warned! CTS could send you straight to the hospital, and even necessitate surgery. So as enthralling as endlessly clicking monsters to death is, short breaks between long periods of gaming are a must.
3. WASD
Fade to black (Image from overclock.net)
The next time you visit someone else’s house, take a second to look at their keyboard. Now, which keys are the most faded out? If it’s the W, A, S, and D keys, then you know you’re in the presence of a kindred spirit.
4. Mods
Skyrim’s Randy Savage dragon… Ohhhh Yeeeaaaah!!!!!
Mods, mods, mods… what would PC gaming be without you?
From making Skyrim’s mudcrabs drop Samuel L. Jackson F-bombs to transforming Warcraft III into DotA – a mod so popular it blew the e-sports scene up into unimaginable proportions – there’s nothing that shows off the PC gaming community’s ingenuity quite like the mod.
5. Impulse buying on Steam
Temptation overwhelming
Well, I’ll be damned, there are so many affordable games on Steam! Oh look! It’s 75% off! I’m just going to go ahead and click Add to Cart here… and here… and here… and here…
6. The Eagerly Awaited No-Show
The true face of Valve?
Are those Half-Life 3 jokes getting old?
Not if you’re a PC gamer.
Half-Life is, hands down, the most important first-person shooter franchise on the planet. The original game introduced so many innovative features that have now become staples of the genre, while Half-Life 2 upped the ante by adding realistic physics, the deliciously entertaining Gravity Gun, and a supporting character you didn’t even have to babysit...
Ten years later, and still no Half-Life 3 – absolute proof that under that convincing shell of a pudgy, mild-mannered, middle-aged man, Gabe Newell is in fact a cold, heartless, Terminator-like robot who feeds on the tears of despondent PC gamers for breakfast.
Seriously, it’s like that open wound that refuses to heal. And joking about the continued absence of one of the most eagerly awaited PC games of all time is the PC gamer’s way of salving that wound.
7. Building your own ultimate gaming PC
It’s not rocket science… but it’s close!
Want to play that new game with all those settings cranked to max? You’ll just have to build your own gaming PC.
That means steeping yourself in hardware knowledge – from motherboards and graphic cards to SSDs and DDR4s – that would make non-PC gamers’ heads spin. Heck, you’re a PC gamer, and it’s still making your head spin. It’s not exactly your younger brother’s LEGO spaceship we’re building here here!
8. PC gaming gobbledygook
What does it all mean??
Let the language of PC gaming gobbledygook unite us.
Abandonware? Beta? Buffs? Fog of war? Ganking? God mode? Kill streak? Lag? LoL? Middleware? Mod? RPG? SLI? Twinking? Wallhack? WoW?
To a non-PC gamer, these terms may seem like an alien language beamed to us from a galaxy at the other side of the universe. But to the PC gamer? Shakespeare.
9. The Long Wait
It was 13 minutes two hours ago!!
You’re all set; your palms are sweaty, your trigger finger is extra twitchy, and the adrenaline is coursing like wildfire through your veins.
Then the bar at the bottom of the screen catches your eye.
Wait… it’s still at 13%?!? But it’s been over 15 minutes!
Game installation; the downloading of patches, expansions, and other upgrades – these are some of the longest waits you’ll be forced to endure as a PC gamer.
Even the shortest installation or downloading times can seem like hours, while those that literally take hours can feel as if the cosmos itself is testing the limits of your patience. There’s nothing that’ll make you want to pull out your hair more than that meter that moves slower than your grandmother driving an ancient jalopy through a sea of molasses.
10. PC pride and console envy
StarCraft II – PC gamers only!
Admit it. At some point in our PC gaming lives, we went over to the Dark Side, and proclaimed ourselves the ruling elite – the PC Master Race.
But PC gaming has its ups and downs, as does console gaming.
For starters, there are a number of great games on consoles that aren’t available on the PC. There’s The Last of Us for the PlayStation 3 and 4, and Gears of War 3 for the Xbox 360, to name a few. On the other hand, only PC gamers get to enjoy real-time strategy titles such as StarCraft II, not to mention a whole slew of MMORPGs and MOBAs.
Games exclusive to the PC also tend to be more social. While Halo 4 allows us to interact with a handful of angry, hate-spewing 13-year-olds at a time, MMORPGs like Darkfall can introduce us to hundreds of vicious trolls in the span of a few hours! Take that, console scum!
There you have it, our list of 10 Things Only PC Gamers Would Understand. We PC gamers sure are an eccentric lot! Are there any other idiosyncrasies you’d add to this list?
