So annoying they'll make you break your keyboard and slap your momma.
Listen up, new recruits. Nothing can prepare you for the toxic chaos you’re about to plunge into. But I’m still going to try. And if you’re a Rift hardened veteran, then you already know what I’m talking about. Sit back, enjoy the show, and watch the new recruits wet themselves in fear.
League of Legends is famous for two things: being the most popular competitive game in the history of gaming and for having the most toxic community in the history of gaming. I’m not here to tell you why this is or how Riot games could fix it. I’m not even sure they can. Maybe it goes hand in hand with being the most popular competitive game.
I’m here to tell you that if you’re going to make it out there on the Rift, you’ve got to forge some sort of a strategy for dealing with that toxic sludge of a community. I’m here to brief you on the 11 annoying types of players you’ll meet on League of Legends. Steady yourself, recruit. And prep a second pair of pants.
1) The Blamers
This is the first one you’ll notice because, let’s be honest, you’re going to mess up a lot when you start. But you’ll be playing with other low ranked players who will also mess up. A good game is when you can all your best and laugh off the mistakes. A bad game is when you’re teamed up with A Blamer.
The Blamers are the kind of players who will ignore a hundred of their own mistakes, but shout at you in all chat when you take one step in the wrong direction. Any time they die or lose a game, it’s never their fault. According to them, it’s because the ADC missed one CS at the five minute mark. But don’t worry, you won’t see this kind of player after you rank up higher. It’s impossible for Blamers to improve their game because it’s impossible for them to see their own mistakes.
2) The Pessimists
This is another type of player you’ll run into a lot in the low ranks. The Pessimists are ready to give up a game the moment something goes wrong. Give up first blood? “GG game over,” they say. Lose your first tower before the enemy does? “GG game over!” Have a slightly unfavorable lane match up at character select? “GG GAME OVER!”
It’s not that The Pessimists are unskilled. They’re actually highly skilled. It’s just that they trained their skill in the wrong area. Rather than getting better at the game, they’ve spent all their practice time on trying to look smart by calling the outcome of the game from the earliest possible point.
Unfortunately for The Pessimists, they know when the game is going south but he doesn’t know why. I know why, and I’ll tell you. It’s because their calls of “GG game over,” are self-fulfilling prophecies. It is possible to pull back from a losing game, but League is a social game and poor attitudes earn poor results.
3) The Optimists
If we’re going to talk about The Pessimists, then it’s only fair to prepare you for The Optimists as well. The Optimists present a different kind of frustration. They’re actually pleasant people to have around.
That being said, you know when you don’t want The Optimist on your team? When you're down 5-30 in kills, your mid laner disconnected, your top laner is spamming /dance in the fountain, and your forfeit vote comes up. No matter how frustratingly lost the game is, The Optimist will force you to keep playing it.
4) The Taunters
I was unsure if The Taunters qualify for a list of annoying players, but I’ll explain why later. For now, just understand that they’re one of the most annoying players to face on the enemy team.
The Taunters show their ugly face when you’re in a losing game. Your confidence is already destroyed because you lost your lane. Your own teammates are breathing red hot hatred down your neck. Then you look down at chat and see The Taunter say, “GG ez thx.” This is when you rip your hair out by the roots.
And why was I unsure if The Taunters qualify for the list? Because as annoying as The Taunters are, they serve a valuable purpose. The most satisfying experience in the world comes when they taunt and then you beat them.
5) The Poor Connection Kids
The Poor Connection Kids are the players who have been struggling with internet issues all day yet still decides to queue up for a ranked game because they’re double agents sent from your enemies to sabotage any hope of enjoyment your evening may have had. You queue up as Alistar on support. You buy all your starting items and charge down the lane to get ready. The minions spawn and you realize your ADC is still in the fountain. You’ve been matched with a Poor Connection Kid.
The Poor Connection Kids don’t reconnect until everyone is level 6. They head down to lane with you as a level 1, die immediately, blame lag, then disconnect again. This process repeats until the twenty minute mark when you can finally vote for a forfeit. Unfortunately, you also have The Optimist on your team.
6) The Instalockers
This was a bigger problem before Riot introduced Dynamic Queue. You used to enter character select with no assigned roles and you’d have to work it out with yourselves who was going where. Anyone with fourth grade level social skills can do this without a problem. But sometimes... sometimes you got matched with The Instalocker.
The Instalockers lock in their choice immediately, destroying any hope of civil discussion. The Instalockers’ actions scream loud and clear, “Screw the team, I’m gonna do what I want.” As annoying as the action is, the attitude it implies is even worse. Or at least, usually the attitude is worse than the action. Unless, god forbid, you queue up with two Instalockers who both lock in supports.
7) The Ragers
The Rager is a very close cousin to The Blamer. Their actions are similar, but they come from different attitudes. The Blamer is disillusioned. The Rager is just mad as hell.
When The Ragers die, their response is immediately. Their all chat messages fire out so fast you feel their anger radiating off the text. They’ve gone nuclear. Stay out of their path. Agree with anything they say. Once their reactors cool down, they’ll be a regular person again. At least, until the next death.
8) The Clingy Friends
League of Legends is a social game and it’s a great place to make some buddies. But for the love of god, don’t let it be the only place you make buddies. You meet The Clingy Friend after a game that goes well. You exchange some friendly banter and he sends you a friend invite after the game. The next time you log in, he invites you to a game. You play and have a good time. Everything is great. So far.
He starts to invite you to a game every time you log on. He starts to get chatty. He always asks how you’re doing, you always say “fine.” One time after you say that you’re fine, he tells you an entirely too personal story about how his girlfriend of seven years cheated on him with her pharmacist. You can no longer hop on for a quick game of League without also putting in an hour as a psychotherapist as well.
9) The Solo Divers
The Solo Divers are a divergent evolution of The Optimist. The Solo Divers will see a fight which looks impossible to any sane person, then jump in head first. They are who they are because they don’t learn from experience, so The Solo Divers are sure to feed these kills to the enemy all game long.
The psychological disorder of The Solo Divers causes them to slip into an alternate reality when they see three enemy champions sitting under a turret. In this alternate reality, they’re playing a different kind of game in which the player is able to dodge turret shots and auto attacks. They start the fight in their alternate universe and perform amazingly skillful plays to conquer the enemy. Unfortunately, back in the real world, they just die.
10) The Meta Breakers
There are over 130 champions in League of Legends, and that number grows constantly. It’s impossible to perfectly balance that many characters, so every patch some champions are strong and some are weak. “The Meta” refers to the champions that are strong.
There’s two kinds of Meta Breakers. There are The Meta Breakers who understand the meta and can therefore use strange champion picks to counter it. These people are the brilliant minds that make meta shifts happen. Unfortunately, you’ll never be meet them on your team. The kind of Meta Breakers you’ll be queued up with wouldn’t know a counter from a cubicle. They just want everyone to think they’re special with their super off-meta Nami jungle pick.
We do think you’re special, Meta Breakers. Just not the kind of special you were hoping for.
11) The Terribads
Most of the frustrations you’ll have in League are due to the poor attitudes of the people listed above. However, every so often you will run into a player so shockingly bad that it upsets your whole night. Think it’s impossible to miss Warwick’s ult? Behold, The Terribad will find a way.
The Terribads simply should not be playing League. The old adage of “practice makes perfect” is true, but The Terribads only have practice at being terrible. When a forty minute game comes down to one last team fight, you can bet your ass the terribad will somehow find a way to kill one of their own teammates. Then the Pessimist will cry, “GG” and start a forfeit vote, the Optimist will vote no, The Rager will alt-f4, and all the while you’re trying to ignore private messages about The Clingy Friend’s dog who has a urinary infection.
Welcome to The Rift, private. Enjoy your stay.
Don’t stop here. Check out more kick ass League of Legends articles:
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