10. Aloha, Aloha, Michael!
Hello, hello? No. Hello, Goodbye, Michael!
Hear me out. Laurie has one job. Capture Michael Myers and detain him by whatever means necessary until the proper authorities arrive.
Then, Michael Myers is transported to an airfield where he’s latched to the helicopter. Once airborne, spectators cheer and gawk as Michael Myers spins and dangles out of sight to the nearest active volcano.
As a single tear rolls down Laurie’s cheek, she saws the rope with Michael’s beloved murder knife—sweet and poetic justice at last. Laurie and Michael share one last moment of eye contact as he freefalls into a merciless vat of lava.
Scorched on impact, Laurie and the gang can rest soundly that Halloween will be fun again!
9. A New Shadow in the Darkness: Death by Samurai
A new shadow lurks in the Haddonfield darkness. With footsteps light as a feather and the discipline of a praying mantis. The hunter becomes the hunted.
“He’s here,” Dr. Loomis radios the mercenary killer.
“By the edge of my sword, Halloween shall be returned to Haddonfield,” Oda the samurai vows.
In the distance, Michael Myers surveys his next victims. Lovebirds tangled up on a park bench lustfully playing tongue twister under the cloak of darkness.
Michael slowly inches towards the couple, raising his knife to strike the deathly blow. One of the lovebirds lets out a horrific scream, catching sight of the blade as it shimmers in the moonlight.
Whoosh!! In flies the Samurai behind Michael Myers. One swift slice severs the knife-wielding arm! The second, third and fourth leave Michael limbless and defenseless. The lovebirds freeze with eyes wide open.
And with one final blow Oda expertly swings her sword at Michael’s neck, beheading him.
Just as quickly as Oda arrived, she vanished without a trace, leaving behind only a note, “Happy Halloween, Haddonfield.”
From an unknown location, “subject eliminated once and for all.”
Dr. Loomis should’ve called for Oda’s help a long time ago – wouldn’t you agree?
8. Haddonfield Rodeo: This Little Piggy Went Home
It’s Halloween, and Michael is on the hunt to kill his sister. Guess who’s ready this time?
Laurie has a new trick up her sleeve to rid her brother of his mortal vessel. She has spent countless late-night hours practicing lasso work and hogtying—queue roping montage! All to participate in the annual Haddonfield Halloween night rodeo.
Like clockwork that Halloween, the bright lights of the rodeo arena cut to black leaving only slits of moonlight.
Laurie whispers, “Michael. I know that’s you.”
Michael’s silhouette stands motionless on the other side of the area as rodeo goers frantically flee the stadium.
She stands ready to wield her lasso with confidence.
As Michael nears, she whips the rope toward his feet, looping around his ankle and yanking him off guard. He falls to the ground.
She runs up, kicks the knife out of his hands, and begins to hogtie him like a champion roper. With ankles and wrists bound tightly, she drags him to the pigpen leaving him helpless.
A drove of pigs oinks their way to the flailing Michael Myers, devouring him, bones and all.
7. Death Served Up Hot With a Side of Love
For too long, Michael Myers was mute. He never sought to love until Myra came into his life. The day she landed in the Haddonfield psych ward, Michael had eyes for her.
It was love at first sight. Myra’s knowledge of his slayings grew a fierce attraction to the recluse.
They’d become obsessed with one another. Michael had never felt love before. His confidence turned him into a player in the ward.
One day, Myra thought it’d be cute to share a midday stroll around the yard with her. She blissfully skipped and sang toward his cell. As she rounded the corner, Michael leaned against the wall, cool as a cucumber flirting with the lead nurse.
Myra’s heart sank. Love flipped to rage.
Late one night, Myra strangled a nurse to death to access the medication closet.
The next morning, Michael and Myra met for breakfast. He got up to get forks for their pancakes. She dumped a lethal dose of poison in his coffee. He chugged the coffee.
A few minutes later, foam gargled from his mouth, and his body wildly convulsed.
Myra kneeled beside him and whispered into his ear, “If I can’t have you, no one will.”
Michael was pronounced dead moments later.
6. Call of the Coven (We Need Your Help!)
Simple tactics don’t always work. We need the help of a coven!
A coven of witches had enough of Michael’s merciless killings of teens. They take matters into their own magical hands.
Prepared for Halloween, one of the witches uses voodoo to force Michael to do as she says. The rest of the group stakes out Michael’s old house.
When he predictably returns to his old house, the witch casts a freezing spell leaving him stuck motionless in the front yard.
Four witches circle him, cursing in tongues. He levitates in the center of the circle.
As the voodoo doll’s head is twisted like a bottle cap, his follows. She rips the doll’s head off and drops the body. Michael’s head remains floating in the air as his body flops to the ground.
Two witches drag his body to the backyard and toss him in the burn pit.
They transport his head back to their familiars’ where they feast on his brains, skins and eyeballs, leaving only the remains of his skull to weather for eternity.
You’ve messed with the wrong coven tonight!
5. Cosplay Death Party
Michael’s reputation sparks a phenomenon of cosplayers dressed up in blue overalls and white masks.
They have one goal in mind. Find Michael Myers and kill him.
The over-alled group with giant kitchen knives in hand take to the streets on Halloween, longing for their moment to arrive.
Screams in the distance echo down the still suburban streets. 10 Michael Myers lookalikes jolt down the street, hooting, and hollering! “He’s in that house over there!” one belts.
They bust through the door surrounding Michael Myers in the kitchen.
Startled and confused, he lashes out and swings his knife at whoever is closest. He slices a cosplayer in the neck, spraying blood everywhere.
As Michael turns to deliver another deathly blow, he slips on the bloody linoleum, hitting his head on the counter’s edge on the way down.
The cosplayers kick, punch, and stab in a murderous frenzy! “You murdered my sister!” one screams.
69 stabs later, the frenzy calms down. The exhausted cosplayers stand in a moment of silence, then cheer and high-five with pure joy, knowing that if you dream it, you can do it.
4. It takes a Village of Bulls
Everyone needs a vacation every now and then. What better way to spend a relaxing time in Spain than at the running of the bulls?
Halfway around the world, Laurie assumes she can rest assured that her brother can’t find her.
After checking into her hotel, Laurie makes her way to the amazing spectacle laced with tradition – the running of the bulls.
Alas, safety is just an illusion. In disguise, Michael sits behind her.
She sees a menacing reflection of her brother in a café window. With another glance, he’s gone.
Michael rears his knife back and slashes Laurie in the shoulder! She pivots, only to see that familiar mask. She takes off down the street. Michael chases after her.
Laurie weaves through the crowded streets with the herd inching at her heels.
Michael trips over a raised cobblestone where the bulls trample him relentlessly. He’s flipped into the air like a ragdoll.
The last bull passes, crushing his skull. The street calms. Terrified, Laurie kneels to find Michael without a pulse.
3. GTFO, Mike-O!
When we think of ‘how’ to kill Michael Myers, we need to bring out the big brains of humanity. Einstein’s Wormhole! It’s time that we send him to another galaxy far, far away.
We must mesh horror and Sci-fi to get this murderous goon out of Haddonfield.
We fit Michael with a straitjacket, knapsack his head, and shuttle him to Area 51. Dr. Loomis has the hook-up.
Expert technologists have been waiting 44 years to test their wormhole theory – today’s the day we send the first human through it! News cameras, reporters, and the curious gather in droves to the perimeter of Area 51 to witness the launch.
Inside the rocket, Michael Myers, wearing a vest carrying a nuclear bomb, awaited his one-way trip to who cares. Obviously, a driving synthwave song triumphantly thumps aloud.
3… 2… 1… BLAST OFF!
Humanity's greatest spectacle charges out of the atmosphere through the wormhole, where Dr. Loomis has the luxury of writing Michael’s final chapter.
“We have confirmation that the nuclear bomb did, in fact, decimate the rocket and Michael Myers on board. Back to you in the studio. I’m Tom Hendricks. Channel 12 News.”
2. Teenage Dirtbags or Homegrown Heroes?
3 teenagers pack into Brad’s grandma’s 4-door sedan – destination? Halloween Eve bonfire party.
He stomps on the gas. They peel out onto the road spitting gravel from the worn tires, recklessly speeding along the unlit backroads.
Kari chugs a beer and tosses it out of the back window. She releases a long-winded belch, “Your grandma know you took her car?”
“Does it matter? The old bat’s asleep anyways,” Brad cranks the radio volume full blast, “my car now.”
Brad turns back to see Jacob leaning out the window, bashing oncoming road signs with a baseball bat.
THUD-THUD!
"Uh, what the heck was that?! It sounds like we hit a deer!" Kari exclaimed. Bad pulls the car over to park, "I'll check it out."
He contacts the police department, “You know what one murder dude everyone fears every year? The guy with the blue overalls, white mask, and giant knife? I think we just ran him over.”
As Brad hangs up the phone, Michael Myers lies dead as a doornail in the street.
1. Compact Parking Only
Michael Myers finally ran his stolen wagon into the ground. He waves down an unsuspecting bystander for a jump.
With enough juice left in the engine, he makes his way over to the pick-n-pull junkyard. After hours of searching, he finally finds the correct part and gets to work.
After an hour of fitting the alternator just right, he gets in the driver’s seat to turn the engine over.
Unfamiliar with the junkyard terrain, he parked his car in an unfortunate spot. The compactor operator mistook his wagon for another, next in line to be crushed.
The operator moves his crane over Michael’s car, drops the magnet on the roof, and lifts the wagon with him inside. Panicked, he grasps for the door handle, but his greasy hands can’t grip it.
With blaring metal music in the crane's cab, he fails to notice Michael struggling in the car.
The wagon is set on the compactor and fired up.
Slowly, the compactor crushes the roof of the brown wagon. Michael’s arms frantically reach, tug, and pull to open the door, but to no avail. There’s no hope.
As the compactor smooshes down with great force, Michael screams as his organs pop and bones snap.
By the end of the machine’s sequence, Michael Myers is nothing more than mush.
