Today, Ladies and Gentlemen, I will be mostly looking writing about videogame quotes specifically those ones we all consider to be badass and memorable. It doesn’t matter what game they came from or how well written they were or weren’t. They don’t even have to be prescient or meaningful.
Kickass quotes just are and that’s all there is to it. You’re probably going to disagree with me, let’s just take that as a given, but that doesn’t mean I’m not right. If nothing else this list should at least make for interesting reading.
So without any more introspection here’s my definitive compendium of the 20 most kickass, badass quotes in video game history.
20:
“Tell my wife...I had another wife.”
-Secret Service Agent, as he dies.
Saints Row IV
I never played Saints Row, but my buddy said he would consider bigamy if he got the chance to say this line before he passes. As last words go, they’re pretty legendary.
19:
“Do a barrel roll!”
-Stupid Bunny
Starfox
You do a barrel roll. I am doing a f****** barrel roll. Shut the f***up. This line is famous thanks to an intrepid space fox, and the internet. Google “Do a barrel roll.” Case closed.
18:
“Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.”
-Chief.
Animal crossing, New Leaf
Philosophy for life. Unexpected from a DS game. Unexpected from a grumpy wolf. Awesome that it’s there.
17:
"Boomshakalaka!"
-The Announcer
NBA Jam
Ok, so not many people say it now, but when the NBA was at the height of its popularity during the Michael Jordan years back in the 90’s, this was one of the first video game quotes that transversed itself into mainstream American culture and it was an amazing feeling when you managed to stuff the ball over Patrick Ewing from the halfway line.
*NBA fans will notice that the image above is not from the original game, but is taken from a 2010 release.
16:
“I’ve got a fever and my only cure is more dead angels.”
-Bayonetta
Bayonetta 2
What’s a witch to do except kill while looking hot at the same time.
Women: Do everything men can do, but in skin tight clothing, glasses, and high heels featuring guns…
15:
‘Not even death can save you from me.’
Diablo
Diablo II (Duh)
So if we die, you’re saying you’re gonna what, like posses our souls or something? Like, totally bad news, man, really tripping on my karma.
14:
“I'm the grim reaper, Lardass, and you're my next customer.”
-Manny Calavera
Grim Fandango
As one liners go, this about as good as it gets. It’s not higher on the list because even I struggle to get it into everyday conversation. In fairness, anything Manny says could be on this list. The entire game is art in motion from beginning to end.
13:
“I need a weapon”
-Master Chief
Halo 2
Any weapon. Give me a fork and I’ll pick out their eyeballs and eat them. Or give me the pistol you have. Hand it over, now, and don’t f**k with the M Chief.
12:
‘It's not over until I teabag every last one of you alien mother f*&%krs!’
-Sam:
Serious Sam 3:
It’s a serious one liner, worthy of anyone.
11:
“There are two ways of doing this. My way, or the he's a dead motherf#$%*@ way: You pick.”
-The Boss
Conker’s bad Fur Day
Talk about being bitch slapped. It looks like any one of Nintendo’s made for kids platformers, but for grown ups with a sense of humour. Dust of the N64 or get an emulator and play it because games like this should not be forgotten.
10:
“Shut up, sit down. I'll tell you what we're gonna do. You're gonna find out who took our cocaine, and then, I'm gonna kill them.”
-Tommy Vercetti
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
Ray Liotta, who voiced the character of Vercetti, could order ice cream in a carpet factory and people would rush to do his bidding. Some think his best role was in Goodfellas. No, it was Vice City.
9:
“All your base are belong to us.”
-Cats.
Zero Wing.
The most broken English phrase of all time? Who knows, but it’s still in popular use in the end chat of multiplayer games. It spawned a host of memes, but it would just be too easy to put it at number one, or even find the time to be bothered to get an image.
8:
“To the edge of the universe and back. Endure and survive.”
-Ellie. (Swears like a trooper.)
The Last of Us.
Female video game character who's not sexualised in a video game. Wow. All the better for it too. If you haven’t played this game, then play the game, and then you will understand why. The greatest game ever made?
7:
“This match….I think I learned something from this. You’re nothing!”
-Ryu
Street Fighter 3: 2nd Impact.
What a put down, and from Ryu of all people. Makes you want to pick up the controller and whack the bastard to death with it: Slowly, so he feels every second of it. Pretty badass though, all the same.
6:
“The cake is a lie.”
-Unknown
Portal 2.
It’s just a scrawl on the wall. Your heart skips a beat. There were others. You almost missed it. You realise, it’s not just a game. It’s ironic because it is just a game, but it’s oh so much more than that. “The cake is a lie” spawned a host of memes and became part of the language of Gamers worldwide. One of the best video game quotes ever said, by a wall.
5:
“Steel wins battles, Gold wins wars.”
-Davion, the Dragon Knight.
DOTA 2
Maybe, but when I said this at a financials meetings, my now ex boss looked like he wanted to kill me. The visiting CFO however went: ‘Yes, it does,’ then took me out for dinner, so we could talk about DOTA.
Best night ever.
She was hot too.
Oh yeah, the CFO was a chick....
True story.
4:
"Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. Their silence is your answer."
--Javik
MASS EFFECT
Wow. Heavy. That’s all I have to say. Better than Shakespeare.
Mass Effect’s story arc is huge, so the lines have to be big too and they are. I doubt quotes like this will ever get old.
3:
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of gum.”
-Duke.
Duke Nukem 3D.
Not number one? Well, no because Duke didn't say it first. It was actually pro wrestler turned actor ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper who uttered this immortal line this first in the alien invasion film, ‘They Live.’ But the developers knew that quote was wasted on that B-movie, so they resurrected it for the game, and history was born. But as it’s not an original line, so it can’t be first in our video game quotes opus. Sorry.
2:
“Yeah, I’m still the Queen Bitch of the Universe.”
-Kerrigan
Starcraft 2
The problem with Kerrigan is just choosing one line as everything she says is badass. Yes, pretty everything she says is also an overworked and overused cliche, but as Mass Effect proves, that doesn’t matter if it's done well and Kerrigan does it well. She does it very well indeed.
Chilling. Heartbreaking. Misunderstood.
1:
"When you are ready to begin the Tea-Party, please smack Mister Flesh Stick in his bitch face."
-Tiny Tina
Borderlands 2
If you’re looking for deranged maniac with a heartbreaking back story, then Tina is your girl. Everything she says is memorable and hilarious. This quote is spoken in the few seconds just before she avenges her parents death and is both funny, and righteous. Tina is the world’s most iconic and ironic teenage anti hero, ever, and she’s not even a playable character. Some other lines may be as good, but none is better, or as memorable, as this one.
EPILOGUE:
Well that’s it. It might be different than what you expected, but then this isn’t a cut-and-paste-click-bait ‘video game quotes,’ article. But did I get it right? For every quote I listed here, there’s another three on the floor that didn’t make it. What did I miss? Give me your top twenty or reorder the ones I did here. It would be great to get our readers point of view. Give the quote, and the game it came from.
