Of course you are! Since the original Doom game hit the market, gamers worldwide have developed a taste for demon blood, and Doom 2016 is the latest buffet of demonic guts and gore. We don’t want anyone to miss out on the maximum that Doom 2016 has to offer in evil-blasting fun, so we bring you this guide to help you in your quest for jollies through the decimation of evil critters. We rank weapons in Doom 2016 as they rate on our Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale, with 1 being totally unsatisfying and 10 being an utterly fulfilling demon-slaying experience.
1) Your Bare Fists
Your bare fists score a 2 on the Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale. It is WAY too easy to get killed because you are not using more powerful weapons, making the enjoyment and fulfillment to be had from using your bare fists not as high as any other weapon. However, they never run out of ammo—smash demonic heads into bloody ruins with your bare fists at your heart’s content! The downside of this attack method is the close range and low damage, but there is an undeniable joy in punching evil squarely in the face. Get a look at fighting bare-handed in this blended weapon-use video…
2) UAC Pistol
The UAC pistol ranks a 3 on the Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale. It’s reliable, but mediocre. The UAC pistol, the least powerful of the ranged weapons, fires fast but does little damage. On the plus side, it has unlimited ammunition, so you can use it as long as your heart is still beating, paying no mind to those pesky ammo counters. It’s fun for popping some rounds into the enemy, but the biggest satisfaction using this weapon is the duration of the massacre process—watch your demonic and possessed human victims torn slowly to shreds until they finally fall. Take a gander at the pistol in action here…
3) Gauss Cannon
The gauss cannon scores a respectable 5 on the Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale. It reaps substantial damage and offers moderate satisfaction when destroying evil incarnate. Using a magnetized chamber to accelerate projectiles, the gauss cannon is powerful and accurate. It is a bit slow to recharge, which is its only real drawback. However, the projectiles are super-fast and deliver one heck of a hit that is well worth the wait. Among other weapons, the gauss cannon is featured nicely here…
4) Frag Grenades
Frag grenades are surprisingly sweet to experience when you’re massacring the demonic, so they score a 6 on the Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale. Frag grenades explode into fragments, steel shrapnel shards which tear to pieces anyone in the blast radius. They are messy weapons in use, not particularly accurate, but they only need to get close to inflict good damage. Toss one of these into the fray, then watch the enemy get shredded by flying steel and enjoy the demolition exhibition!
5) Shotgun
The shotgun scores a solid 6 on the Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale. This handy weapon brings a healthy share of exploding gore to the action. My personal favorite since the original Doom demo came out in the 1990s, the shotgun reloads fast and delivers decent bang for its buck. Watching this little beauty put holes in the heads and torsos of demons is assuredly jolly entertainment. Here is a good look at some sweet shotgun carnage…
6) Plasma Rifle
The plasma rifle scores 6 on the Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale. It’s high-speed, moderate impact, and just plain fun to shoot! The plasma rifle fires super-hot plasma charges into the enemy. The joy in using this beast is the high-energy hits that mow down demons quickly and efficiently. The plasma rifle is highly effective, but seems to lack a little in the way of flat-out demon destruction. Still, it is a lovely sight to watch the minions of Hell get torn apart at such a quick pace! There’s some great footage of the plasma rifle in action here…
7) Super Shotgun
The super shotgun scores a lean, mean 7 on the Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale. The extreme effect of using both barrels produces splatter like nobody’s business! The super shotgun fires double blasts of shotgun shell Heaven, but the action is a bit slower than the normal shotgun. It kicks like a grumpy mule and delivers massive damage, sending gore flying and putting enemies down fast. At times, it seems a waste to use on weaker enemies, but on the other hand, you DO get to watch them get blown to pieces, and isn’t that what it’s all about? This multi-player video has great super shotgun action…
8) Chaingun
The chaingun ranks a big 7 on the Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale. It’s angry-looking and roars like a beast. The ever-popular chaingun is a decimation machine. Shown here with a weapon modifier making it even more powerful, the chaingun spits out lead so fast it cuts enemies into pieces in microseconds. Sure, it’s an ammo-guzzler, and if you use it too long it will overheat and lock up, BUT… when you need the job done fast, this gun is the ticket! Check out the chaingun in action…
9) Chainsaw
The chainsaw scores a hefty 8 on the Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale. With this weapon, you can get real hands-on, gruesome, demon-carving satisfaction. Yes, the guts are really flying now! A classic weapon of bloody murder since before it was popularized in the movies, chainsaws are both a logically efficient way to cut large pieces of fresh meat and a sadistically fun way to practice your cutlery skills. The trusty chainsaw has one drawback—fuel. When it’s out of gas, you might become a demon treat. Until then, however, it is pure and unadulterated joy to carve the minions of Hell into bloody chunks with this beauty! Check out the chainsaw in action here…
10) BFG 9000
The BFG 9000 scores a burly 9 on the Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale. It lays down a huge field of heavy-duty destruction in a single shot. The BFG 9000 is the most memorably-named of Doom’s weapons, though there are differing theories as to what exactly those three letters stand for. Regardless, this heavy weapon delivers the heaviest hits using massive plasma energy discharges that fry everything in a large radius. Like the plasma rifle, there is a lack of connection to your victims with the BFG 9000, but the unbelievable scope of the devastation it leaves behind makes it far more enjoyable than its little brother. Have a good look at what this bad boy does in this multi-player action video…
11) Rocket Launcher
The rocket launcher scores a perfect 10 on the Demon-Slaying Satisfaction scale. KABOOM! The rocket launcher needs little introduction: it’s the point-and-click version of destruction. Firing this weapon incurs risk of blowing yourself up if you don’t have the sense to shoot at distant targets, but when used right, the result is juicy satisfaction as bad guys get blown sky high! As long as you handle with care, the rocket launcher is hands-down the explosive best in the fulfillment of your evil-crushing dreams. Have a look at skilled use of this most satisfying weapon in this video…
Special Feature: Weapon Customization
That’s right, personalization fans, Doom 2016 weapons can be customized! Who wants to bring the same color gun that Mary Jane brought to the fight? —so embarrassing! Instead, make your weapons really yours with customization. If custom weapons aren’t enough to float your boat, fear not--you can personalize your armor, too!
AND… check out this trailer for the multiplayer action:
The Final Word
It’s hard to not enjoy killing demons, but some weapons do bring more Demon-Slaying Satisfaction than others. You may rate the weapons a bit differently than we did, but the only way to know for sure is to get into Doom 2016—get in DEEP—and slam damage on those dastardly demons until heads roll and blood runs thick. One thing is for sure: you will get your satisfaction!
Take a look at the gritty weapon action in this…
There’s no mistaking the almost spiritual fulfillment that comes from killing demons, not to mention the adrenaline produced when you are trying to not get killed by them. Doom 2016 supplies to modern gamers one of the finest gaming experiences to date, and the creators know exactly what gamers really want to kill—demons! Get in on the blood-soaked carnage today!
