‘Make a list of the hottest Tekken female characters,’ my boss said.

'Like it’s that easy,' I said.

Ah, who am I kidding? I love this s***. This is the best job in the world. But enough about me. Let’s get on with what we’re here to do. There’s no rules with one. It’s a straight up contest of the ten best chicks from the Tekken series. Let’s get it on!

10: Kunimitsu

But who’s behind the mask, and more importantly, where the f*** is my wallet?

Minor Boss. Thief. 

What’s up with the mask? (I know what’s up with the mask, it’s a rhetorical question.)  Kunimitsu steals and she steals from anyone and everyone. Despite chance after chance with different criminal groups, she just can’t seem to stop herself. Consequently she’s made a few enemies along the way. So what can you say about this girl that probably hasn’t already been said in a court of law?  Kunimitsu is loyal only to her grandfather, and even there she seems to have issues.  She yearns to get her hands on Grandfather Yoshimitsu’s powerful sword so she can make a copy for herself, and rule the world, probably. Orr something, I don’t know.

Kunimitsu went missing there for a while and I noticed her absence from the game, but she made a welcome return for Tekken Tag Tournament 2, and I think most people appreciated that. She may not be the strongest kid in the game, but she’s fast, agile, and into gymnastics.  Think about the possibilities is all I’m saying.

But here’s the thing: Is she a super-hot babe under the mask, or a monster? Do you care with a body like that? Take the chance if you want to.

9: Ling Xiaoyu

Not to sure why whe's wearing a bagel on her wrist. Takes all sorts I suppose

Owns Panda. Young. Not so serious….

Entering the tournament back in Tekken 3, Ling has been a regular in every consequent release. I don’t know though. I mean, seriously, who enters a fighting tournament so they can build the amusement park of their dreams? (Ling, obviously. It’s another rhetorical musing.) 

But she’s hot. Of course she’s hot. But it’s not like very much ever seems to work out for her in the long run. The amusement park is a bit of a disaster, she loses control of a time machine, almost kills the wrong person…. And she only dreams she saves Jin….Talk about issues. But if you can put up with a girl who loses even when she wins, and you think you can foot the probable future therapy bills, then yes, keep on dreaming, this could be the girl for you.

8: Zafina

Despite looking otherwise, this lady is not a Belly Dancer

Dedicated. Cold. Assassin. Astronomer

I always liked Zafina. How could you not love someone who starts taunting their opponents before the fight even starts? The only thing better is the whole ‘I told you, so’ kind of vibe when she exudes when she wins. There’s not much going on story arc wise with Zaf. I thought she had some somewhere but I must have been thinking of another Tekken female character. That said, it’s enough to know that she entered the Iron Fist tournament in order to stop two stars collapsing. Isn’t that cool? She’s also got the whole smoky eyes thing going on. Nice.

7: Julia Chang

She loves my Tree.

Tree Hugger. Student. Archaeologist

Julia is the adopted daughter of Michelle Chang. She fights like Michelle Chang. They both wear feathers in their hair. And they're both bitching hot. But I don’t know about attempting to reforest Arizona as must have back story.

Julia’s no angelic born again hippie though. She’s not as loyal to some as they might think but that just adds to her allure. It also makes her a bit of a dark horse, and why not. We all have skeletons buried in the backyard somewhere, right? She is the perfect fit for the environmentally minded eco gamer in us all.   

6: Alisa Bosconovitch

“OK computer.”

Chainsaws. Android. Polite.

Ok, so now we get weird. Only the Japanese could come up with something, and someone, as crazy as Alisa. She’s so perfect isn’t she, with those deep green eyes, beautiful hair, and always so properly dressed too! Then you blink, and she’s flying across the screen with chainsaws where her arms should be….Mental. So, yes, Alisa is a synthetic, but one with ‘feelings.’ The perfect girl of the future?

5: Asuka Kazama

Prone to go it alone

Peace maker. Fight starter. Nosy.

Asuka’s ending movie in Tekken Tag Tournament 2 has got to be one of the surrealist game endings I’ve ever witnessed. I can’t tell if it’s ridiculous or genius. But back to Asuka. She is stunning, she’s in your face and overconfident to the point of arrogance. She seemingly spends her time wandering around Osaka breaking up fights, but has no qualms starting her own wherever she goes.

Quite frankly, I think she’s crazy, but she’s also hot, and where I’m from, still underage, so I will say no more.

4: Anna Williams

Looking for her pot of gold.

Nina’s sister. Irish. Femme Fatale.

Considering the violent rivalry Anna and her sister Nina have got going on, coming fourth isn’t going to make Anna very happy. Anna is definitely the more caring of the two, but is she hotter? Not according to me. Hey it’s my post, my choice. Either way, you gotta love an Irish vixen in a Chinese dress; especially one that hasn’t aged throughout any of the tournaments.

3: Jun Kazama

The quintessential perfect older woman fantasy.

Final Boss. Milf. Devil Suppressant. Animal lover.

Oh Oh, it’s gaming’s favorite mother of the ultimate problem child….It’s….Jun. Ok, so she was still in her early 20s when she made her Tekken debut, but that still makes her forty something now...That’s assuming she's still alive, as she went missing a while back and we haven’t seen her since. When she is around though, she’s known for being without fear. The best way to describe her would be as a gracefully understated beauty.

2: Nina Williams

Most Irish girls look like this. Seriously.

Hotter than her sister. Also Irish. Also Fatale.

Nina is defo. the cold bitchy one of the two sisters. Like Anna, she’s also aged very well. She also loves showing off that body whenever she can and I won’t take issue with her over that. You go girlfriend, you rock that body! Ahem, moving on. When she’s not being indifferent or bitter toward the opposite sex, she flirts and flaunts her assets around in her trademark skin tight purple cat suits.

With that blonde hair and blue eyes, someone this pretty, this hot, should not have such a difficult f****** combination in order to access her special throws. It is mind bendingly frustrating trying to pull them off.

1: Lili

Well you would, wouldn’t you?

Selfish. Sweet. Graceful. Daddy Issues.

Emilie, or Lili, as she is more commonly known, should not be fighting in Iron Fist events. It should not be her hobby. She’s way too hot for all that jazz. She is the most graceful and elegant fighter in the game as far as I am concerned. Some might say she’s spoiled; others that she’s unstable mentally. I would agree with both statements. But she is without doubt though the easiest thing on the eyes in the entire Tekken series. The fact she really seems to annoy Nina just by breathing makes me want to kiss her all the more.

How can a female video game character be so hot, wearing so many clothes?

Final Round. And the bell goes, and it’s time to get back to the boring old real world.

But what do you think? Personally I don’t think anyone can disagree with my top three, but I’m open to having my mind changed, if you can convince me. Log in, and tell us if we’ve missed someone out, or if you think someone else should be top. Don’t just bitch at the screen. Take a minute and talk to us. We’re here to listen.