In the beginning Zombies were low creatures who just walked around and were easy to outrun. As time moved on- and CGI improved, they became faster, uglier, smarter and could even dance (remember THRILLER). Hollywoood has given us the best and worst of zombies. Here is a look at some of them.
1. The “Stomper” from The Dawn of the Dead
I heard this was a bachelor party, who’s the lucky guy!
If, for any reason, sometime in the future, Austin Powers were to meet The Walking Dead, and Fat Bastard were to be looking down Sheriff Ricks 44 magnum (maybe he was trying to rob Rick’s food supply), the result would be a biggest, nastiest, gelatinous mass of necrosed flesh, running for the freshest meat in the room. Lucky for survivors, it’s not hard to miss this one. EARTHQUAKE?? I think not! Best keep your running shoes on.
2. “Bongo” from Zombieland
Ronald McDonald on steroids
Coulrophobia (fear of clowns) or Kinemortophobia (fear of Zombies)!! You decide. Bongo is not someone you’d want to invite to your kids birthday party nor is he a circus act. Unless you tie him up and let the kids at him with a club, like a piñata. Be careful though, there are no candies in this one.
3. “Spike Lee “from The Walking Dead
Always wear protection
Spike Lee looks like something out of a Punk rock concert. Who knows, under that helmet may have been a hormone raging teen high on LSD that’s gone bad. Just remember to be careful not to stray too close to this one, one touch and you could be a part of the band.
4. “The Selfie Queen” from The Walking Dead
What the….! Is that Jackie from high school? She still got better hair than me!
This stylish, camera loving beauty just cannot get enough of herself. While the flock head off to the fresh meat market, 'Dead' Beauty decides to stop and capture her selfie moment. Goes to show that narcissism is a very innate behavior; so who cares what people say!!
5. “Ghost Runner (Rider)” from 28 days later
I like my meat lean and well done.
Who needs a bike when you can burn calories especially after all red meat being consumed on a daily basis! Doctors highly recommend exercise to keep fit. And the environmentalists recommend keeping bikes and cars off the road to save fossil fuel. Everybody wins, Right! Well everybody... except you.
6. “The Supermodel” from Resident Evil
The face I make when my wife asks me to choose between The Walking dead and FRIENDS
A Zombie this hot, many would still want in on the action (especially during a Zombie apolcalypse and being the last man on earth - you get the point!), although a little extra protection would definitely come in handy; so dont get too caught up in the moment. And a word of caution to the guys; remember nothing too kinky or you may lose what you love most (and your life is not what i am talking about).
7. "The Backpackers" from The Walking Dead
Psst.. Bob! You told me she was kinky and game for a threesome, but this is getting weird.
Low mantenance and safe around the kids, they are perfect for those camping trips to carry backpacks and keep the flies away from the food.
8. "The DJ" from The Day of the Dead
The face i make when trying to listen to the lyrics of Rihanna's Work Work Work
9. "The Hangover" from Thriller
Keep Calm! the zombies are coming.
This is the party happy, high on life (literally) and wake up with a bad hangover zombie. Always seen hanging out in groups. You can’t dance your way out of this one. So when you see them, just Beat it!
10. "The Boss" from Land of the Dead
When your boss is a pain in the neck
With his excellent people skills and connections, Boss Zombie is a force to reckon with. Motivating, yet a strong disciplinarian; he is surely a srong contender for 'The Manager of the Year' award. His anger is his only shortcoming. He will work you to death - literally. But then again, what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger; and what can kill you, will turn you into a mean ass zombie.
Remember to keep fit for the zombies are coming; and when they do i hope you remember this article.
